To be honest, I have been on a spiritual path ever since I was a kid. I have briefly spoken on this blog about my own spiritual experiences, and how I live a life full of symbolic hidden meanings and the constant reminder of synchronicity. Plainly put; I am an empath, with a vast amount of morals and a melting pot of beliefs, But you can not label me.
I have had enough of feeling shamed when I know in my heart I am a good person that does good deeds out of the goodness of my heart - even when I proudly proclaim I am a misanthrope. I do hate people in general, I deeply love the few and far between special people who will love and accept you regardless of your differences, whether it is sexuality, your culture or religious beliefs.
I don’t feel comfortable inside churches, unless OF COURSE, it is historic church with beautiful architecture, or a Greek orthodox church. Then I am simply enjoying the visual pleasantries of my surroundings, the art, the colors, the rituals, the history and the smells. A Greek orthodox church is a product of my youth, and I find the music calming, but, I have never known what they were saying. I can honestly admit, I was probably only there to appease my father. I will still go, perform the rituals, and sit in the pews with fond memories.
When I have attempted to go to regular Sunday mass , I felt shamed, outcast and judged. I felt heads swivel to eye me and what I am wearing. Afterwards; it is a fact that most of the members will go home to gossip and judge each other.
I decided, I want no parts of a church establishment. Too much greed, dishonesty, judgement; all things I personally find morally wrong. I can not help these feelings, feel free to judge me on them, in my age I have started to care less. I want to live a conscious free life, and feel no shame, and live my life in connection to my heart, and to reach spiritual enlightenment to its fullest.
I feel the modern religion is too violent, and has separated humans for far too long. I feel it is way too closeminded and judgemental.
Entirely too many people have died in the name of religion. Too many fiscal gains have been made out of the name of religion, and I find that entire thing disgusting. Religion is a franchise, a product of our culture. Everyone wants to argue on who is right and who shall be judged while a commercial for the latest church flashes on the screen… BUY OUR PRODUCT - SUPPORT OUR FAITH- DONATE TO OUR CAUSE-JOIN US IN RIGHTIOUSNESS.
On Christianity, I think it has been attempted to be forced down my throat, as I am an american and that is what our prominant religion is. A lot of my friends and family have used the bible as their guideline to life.
I simply can not. I have found too many inconsistencies in the bible. It makes me question the morale of the entire religion. I could NEVER follow a book that has such cruelty and violence in it. I am too sensitive and can't even stomach it to sit and read it... although I am sure there are many beautiful passages that I could instill in my life.... I can't get past the blatant cruelty. According to their guidelines, I would have been murdered- repeatedly. I would love for someone with patience to sit and calmly explain to me how they are able to look past this prominant theme. I am genuinely curious. it seems no one who follows the bible faithfully can even question these things without a distinct look of fear in their eye. I would love to get inside their brain to understand it. But - its so personal that simply a discussion of this nature will severe friendships and family members. It is so hostile, and cut and dry, black and white. The bible makes God out to be a villian! The God I know and love is kind and loving, more on this later.
Of course I will cite some bible passages for example:
Cruel God
“ I will fill your mountains with the dead. Your hills, your valleys, and your streams will be filled with people slaughtered by the sword. I will make you desolate forever. Your cities will never be rebuilt. Then you will know that I am God.” (Ezekiel 35 1 - God)
Directing man to murder innocent women and children
"Then I heard the LORD say to the other men, "Follow him through the city and kill everyone whose forehead is not marked. Show no mercy; have no pity! Kill them all – old and young, girls and women and little children. But do not touch anyone with the mark. Begin your task right here at the Temple." So they began by killing the seventy leaders. "Defile the Temple!" the LORD commanded. "Fill its courtyards with the bodies of those you kill! Go!" So they went throughout the city and did as they were told." (Ezekiel 9:5-7 NLT)
Then direct man to murder everyone who is different
If your own full brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife, or you intimate friend, entices you secretly to serve other gods, whom you and your fathers have not known, gods of any other nations, near at hand or far away, from one end of the earth to the other: do not yield to him or listen to him, nor look with pity upon him, to spare or shield him, but kill him. Your hand shall be the first raised to slay him; the rest of the people shall join in with you. You shall stone him to death, because he sought to lead you astray from the Lord, your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, that place of slavery. And all Israel, hearing of this, shall fear and never do such evil as this in your midst.(Deuteronomy 13:7-12 NAB)
Sexism
"But if [a girl wasn't a virgin on her wedding night] and evidence of the girl's virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her father’s house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against God’s people by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst."
(Deuteronomy 22:20-21 NAB)
There are also quite a few passages where God directs man to sacrifice animals.
I’ve pretty much had enough of the violence and killing, the animal sacrifices, the mistreatment and murdering of women and children. No, I will not turn a blind eye to it.... I can't even swallow it. Like I said earlier, I am a true empath. The suffering of innocents? I feel that… and it hurts. I understand it was written a long time ago, and things have changed… and exactly that… THINGS HAVE CHANGED. I am free to have an open mind on my own personal spiritual path.
I’ve never been one to digest what people give me. In fact, I want to take everything apart and examine it before I blindly accept something into my routine. Which started my path on literature. There are so many beautiful books that you can use as a guide to live a happy fulfilled life.
I simply do not belong in man made establishments when attempting to spiritually grow. My place of worship is outdoors. I like to go straight to the source to seek information. I like to go outdoors when I am feeling stressed and soak up all the good energies from the universe.
I recently stumbled on ancient readings by Hermes/Thoth that spoke true to my soul. Apparently an ancient religion is something I have always subconsciously believed in. Followers of this beautiful belief system have been burned at the stake by catholic priests who attempted to exterminate ancient religion… (Giordano Bruno)
Ancient religions are now referred to as the occult, which leave a bit of a sour taste on the populations tongue- occult-/A CULT think about why? Control, power, ego.
Really my beliefs are simple, and based on LOVE, and RESPECT. In my beliefs, God loves humans. I feel God wants us to love the earth, and its creations. And if we do this fully with our intention, we can receive more blessings.
I think Earth is God and should be worshipped, and respected. I think Sun is God, it keeps everything alive. I think the Moon is God, Water is God; I think the Universe is God, as it exists infinitely without explanation or constraints to time. I think we are all reflections of the all encompassing God. BUT, I think man has been too curious and analyzed and murdered the simple beauty that is life and have been restrained from our full potential because of it. I think Man has so much potential to be better reflections of God, but we are constrained by the hands of time, controlled by our egos and hate, and have been a source of mass destruction to our planet.
We should only be ashamed of ourselves in the way we treat our planet, our animals, our people, its time for a change.
This post is just about God, I will have to save the topic of Satan for another blog.
